Viva Las Vegas

After being married for 7 years with 3 kids, a wobbly tummy and sagging breasts, I often wonder if I am still attractive to the opposite sex. I always think of myself as that pert and confident 21 year old but I’m actually a “slightly above average attractive woman in her mid thirties who could do with loosing some weight”. I know this because my friend recently told me so.

With the same friend, I set off to Las Vegas to celebrate her sister’s birthday. Having successfully infiltrated her sister’s group, I found myself at the stagette party of some-one else I had never met and knew nothing about. For both celebrations I was in a ridiculous outfit showing more skin than was really suitable and wearing painful shoes. However it was not without reward.

I met a Mexican who stared at my chest and had the hands of an octopus, maybe he thought my polite phrase of “so when did you arrive in Las Vegas?” in fact meant “I’m ticklish, please try me”. Then an English bloke who I couldn’t understand (and I’m English) repeatedly shouted the word “Southport” in my ear. He may have been saying “Old Trout” but I am confident it wasn’t an insult. Then later my bottom was pinched by a bald fat man in his 50’s who kept pretending to lasso me. Finally I was chatted up by a man wearing sunglasses in a very dark nightclub who kept licking his lips. Looking back I should have checked for fangs.

I had lots of fun on the weekend and on reflection I can say that yes I can still attract men but they tend to be weird. So being with some-one normal who loves me with all my wobbling, sagging and numerous other flaws is nothing to complain about.