Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Road to Mother's Day

I didn't realize how much "stuff" is out there about Mother's Day. There's commercials, newspaper articles, online stories, articles, blogs. It's overwhelming. I think I may just be drowning in it.

I'm just not sure about this Mother's Day. It's definitely going to be bittersweet. While I am thankful and blessed with my own son and furbaby, I'm saddened that this will be my first Mother's Day without my own mom. Don't get me wrong, every day is tinged with a little bit of sadness but man oh man, Mother's Day. That's right up there with her birthday & Christmas.

I don't want to wallow in my grief and tears. I want to be able to remember the happy memories, to be able to think about her and smile, maybe laugh at some small quirky thing. I want to be able to share my mom with my son, her only grandchild. I hope there will soon be a day that I will be able to think about my mom and be happy and not this overwhelming sense of sadness. I want to celebrate her life and the person she was and the lives that she touched.

As it gets closer to Sunday, I get a bit more teary and my heart hurts just a little bit more. I keep telling myself that it's just another day but it's not. It's just another day that reminds me that my mom isn't here anymore.

My husband is going out of town this weekend so I've invited one of my sisters to spend the weekend with me. If it's difficult for me, then I'm sure it's 10x harder for her. We'll comfort each other and remember the good times together.

2 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear about your Mom. I know all about what you are going through. I lost my Mom two years ago. And she was my best friend. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. I plan on visiting her grave site and laying flowers. Remember all the good times! And have a Happy Mom's day!

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom too. I lost mine 5 years ago, the day after her 60th birthday, while she was here on vacation with me. Her ashes & "grave" are back in England, so I either send money for flowers home to my dad so that he can lay flowers for me, or I visit a local nature reserve that we visited here shortly before she died & lay them there.

    It does get easier with time, although for sure the first year of all the "special days" is the hardest. A counsellor once told me that you should never "get over" the loss of a loved one, but that you learn reconcile your life to live without them - one thing that he asked me to do, & which I actually found a big help, was to write a letter to my mum, telling her all the things I wanted to say, but never had the chance to. I'm sad that she never got to see me being a mum, but I hope that she would be proud of me.

    Happy Mothers Day to all the motherless daughters out there - laugh a little, cry a little too, it's all ok.

    Steff xx

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