Friday, April 10, 2009

Counting


I posted a longer, slightly altered version of this on my personal blog but I thought I would also share it here in honor of Easter and being grateful for all of our blessings:

Lately my husband and I have been thinking about how grateful we are for everything that we have been blessed with in our lives. While it is easy to get caught up in the cycle of wanting more, thinking we need more and wishing certain aspects of our lives were different, we are making a conscious effort to focus on what we DO have and to surround ourselves with positive thoughts, emotions and other like-minded people who do the same. We have found that a day spent wishing, wanting, complaining, grumbling or being negative is a day wasted from enjoying the bounty that already sits here in front of us.
I was once told by a very wise person that you cannot accept or make room for anything new in your life until you fully appreciate and are at peace with what you already have and the life that you already live. This has proven to be very true indeed.

Before I met my husband, I was content with every aspect of my life. Yes, I knew that someday I might want to get married and have children but I loved my job, I was proud of my house, I already had a great, supportive, close-knit family and I was content with my singleness. Then, my future husband came into my life and I was able to fully accept and welcome the changes that came along with finding the love of my life because I was so content with the life that I already had. Now, four years later, it still amazes me that I have found my best friend and the man who I will spend the rest of my life with and I stand in awe of him every day.

When we were trying to get pregnant with our first child, we knew full well that not everyone who wants a baby is blessed with a pregnancy. Though we were definitely ready for a baby and while we both dreamed of being parents, we were also very content with the life that we had already built as a couple. We had been married for a year and we were able to travel together, go out on the town, spend time with our other couple friends and we enjoyed our single, childless lifestyle. Since we fully accepted and appreciated the life we were already living, there was no room for anything but complete and utter amazement and joy when we found out that a baby would soon be joining us.

Similarly, before this new baby, we were already content with our wonderful family of three. Though we both pictured ourselves having a large family, we never felt it was our "right" to have more children and we didn't feel discontent with the family that we already had. When we found out that baby #2 was on the way, we were once again taken aback by how richly our family has been blessed and how we have been given so much more than we ever expected.
As I sit here and think of everything that I am fortunate for in my life, it suddenly puts everything else into perspective. No longer do I think about moving to a larger home, buying more clothes, going on a nice vacation or other small, petty details. I look at my husband- my best friend, the most amazing husband and father a woman could ever hope for. I watch my sweet, smart, precious daughter and I look around at our warm, inviting home. I feel Little Boy Blue kick playfully inside of me. I share a great chat with my mom and dad, two of the most genuine, supportive and loving people in the world, two of my best friends and two of the biggest fans of my husband, daughter, unborn baby and me. I spend an afternoon catching up with old girlfriends or I spend a few hours laughing with newer girlfriends who have become my support and lifeline since moving to Calgary. I chat with our neighbors and watch their children play, these sweet, fun children who will someday be playmates and classmates with our children. We stop by my husband's office for a chat with his coworkers who will undoubtedly provide us with a good laugh, hugs for our daughter and who love our family like we are part of their own. I kiss our loving, silly Golden Retriever, the puppy who was not supposed to live to adulthood and who will turn five years old this summer. I laugh at our crazy and peppy Pomeranian, the puppy who was brought to me limp and lifeless and who hasn't slowed down or skipped a beat since. I chuckle as I look at my daughter using our cat as a pillow. I realize that I am living the dream. No, it might not be everyone's dream and certainly we face struggles and bumps in the road just like everyone else. However, it is my dream and it is wonderful. Please excuse me if I have seemed a bit distracted lately- I've been too busy counting. Counting my blessings.

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