I am back

Phew! What a whirl wind the last few weeks have been. The baby finally made its appearance
on March 24th and life has been a blur since. I am totally exhausted! It has taken my toddler (18 months) a bit to adjust to his whole world being toppled on its head. No longer is mommy at his full distosal 24/7. I find the hardest time when I sit down to nurse the baby. The toddler generally chooses this time to climb the entertainment centre or to try and tip over the tv. We have had a few rough days trying to figure out how to keep the baby safe in the presence of the toddler. We thought a playpen would be a good bet but it has been a challenge to keep the toddler from trying to crawl in it and from shaking it while the baby is inside. I will admit the first few days were very nightmareish. I wondered if I would ever have any peace or if I would forever be removing my toddler from various dangerous situations. In just a short time my toddler has learned to say "no no no". I have been home from the hospital now for a week and I think today is the first real good day we've had. We've had good mornings or good afternoons but today was a full good day (if we can just get through bath and bedtime).

I am noticing many many differences between bringing home the toddler when he was a baby and bringing home this baby. When I brought my first son home I had all the time in the world to snuggle and nurse and enjoy his sweet babyness. I napped when he napped and the nights were not as long because I was able to get a few hours of shut eye in the day. This time I am lucky if this little one gets fed between all the chaos that the toddler creates. Don't worry I am actually taking the time to feed the baby but it is far from the relaxing times I spent sitting in the rocking chair with my feet up staring into my first son's eyes wondering who he would become dreaming of his future and reflecting on life. Now the nursing sessions consist of me sitting down in whatever room the toddler happens to be in and nursing while constantly barking out "no," "danger," "get off the coffee table", sigh. But even with all this I couldn't be happier. (Perhaps I am just delierious from lack of sleep). The toddler is starting to get it. He is listening a little bit more each day. It is interesting to watch his little personality come out even more in response to this new addition to our family. Hopefully we have more of these good days.