First post - crisis post!

Hi everyone!

I guess I should introduce myself first - I'm a mom of 3: 6 year old Cohen, 4 year old Lili and 10 month old Luci. I'm just wrapping up my mat leave, and today got a RUDE surprise when I went for a meeting with my old boss.

A little background history here - before I started my leave, there were some definite issues between myself and my boss. I work at a small company - about 6 full time staff, 30 or so casual staff - and my position was pretty much the second-most senior position in the company. My boss and I had been battling over various issues, one of which was definitely my struggles during my pregnancy. Let me interject here - my boss is a woman, in her late 30's, single, and childless. Not by choice - she desperately wants to get married and have kids. Anyway - during the last few months of my pregnancy, she was becoming more and more difficult and I was extremely stressed out - to the point where I considered taking a stress leave. Here's an example. I am a type-A, hyper-organized perfectionist. I'm harder on myself and have higher expectations of myself than any boss could. Well, one day, I realized that I had booked a meeting 15 minutes earlier than I'd thought, and was thus late. I jokingly said to the secretary "ooops! baby brain!". Later that day, my boss pulled me into her office and proceeded to lecture me. She wanted me to know that I "was not the only pregnant woman in the world that has to actually work while she's pregnant", and that I was "not to use my pregnancy or this baby as an excuse for doing my job poorly every again".

Huh????? Yeah. Of course, I ended up hysterically crying (seriously, that 3rd pregnancy? SO HORMONAL) and was totally incapable of defending myself.

Anyways. I went on my mat leave with relief. I LOVE my job. It is a program that I built up from nothing, and invested 2 years of my life into. When I arrived in the position (prior to my current boss being hired), the program was in shambles. It is now highly regarded. I'm seriously invested in my position.

I heard through the grapevine that she was planning on changing my position when I returned. Honestly, I chalked it up to petty gossip. I did note over the 10 months that I was gone that nearly 80% of the staff quit. I chalked it up to everyone else finding her difficult as well.

LONG story short (too late)! 3 weeks ago I gave her my notice that I was returning (my hubby is taking 6 weeks of parental leave). Last week she requested that I meet with her and an HR consultant to discuss the details of my return. I'll admit, a flag went up in my head, but I ignored it. Today was that meeting.

Imagine my surprise. Immediately, as I sat down, I was told that the company "had been through some restructuring" and that "my previous position is no longer available" to me. They are now requiring "an advanced level of training" for that position (which, btw, I found out that my replacement does not have; she is only starting that training this week as well). However, they would like to offer me a "comparable" position.

That position? Officially - "Customer Service Coordinator". Officially, I will be in charge of, hire and train up to 4 customer service reps for the front reception area.
BUT. Unfortunately, due to the recession, they cannot afford to hire any customer service reps currently, and I will be the only one in that position for the time being, until such a time that it is financially feasible to "maybe" hire "1 or 2 people".

That position? Realistically? Secretary. Seriously. I'll be doing all the photocopying and crap for the person who currently has my old position. I'll be answering phones.

So... Of course, I weakly asked for documentation of the "restructuring" and a copy of the company orginizational chart. Because, of course, by law, she is required to offer me my old position back or a position of comparable seniority and salary.

The good news? My salary stays the same. Highest paid secretary EVER! The bad news? I'm totally being demoted, seriously to the bottom of the company, and I can't prove it, because of course she will have re-done the org chart, and because she's calling it "coordinator", it looks like I actually am coordinating something.

So I spent all day crying. I know I should be grateful that I have a job, that it pays well... but I can't help it - I feel like I've been ambushed. I have only until Friday to decide... to sign or not to sign. I'm supposed to start work next Monday. My hubby's leave is all ready to go. I HAVE to work! I'll also admit that there is some ego bruising going on - when I think about being a secretary (let's face it, that's what the position is), I'm mortified. Everyone there knows what happened - I could tell as soon as I walked in.

It took my husband and I three years to decide to have a third child. We both worried about having the time and energy for a third child - plus, we were both very busy in our respective careers, and didn't want to lose any momentum. I love my daughter more than life, and I don't regret having her for a minute - but there is a part of me that feels like the decision to have another child has derailed my career. Of COURSE I'll be calling the Human Rights Commission, but I know what they'll tell me: I can file a complaint, but they cannot protect my job during the process. And seriously - if the complaint went through, and I "won" - I'm a marked woman after that. My boss will scrutinize every single thing I do, until she finds a reason to fire me. If, of course, the stress of the situation doesn't kill me first.

The bright side? I recently started my own business, as and event manager/designer (social events, fundraisers, wedding planning/design), and it's going well. Not well enough, unfortunately, that I can quit my job, but I am hoping that I will be able to within a year. In some ways, though, it's almost harder.

I don't know. I don't know what to do. It is so hard for working moms to find that balance to begin with. Working full-time and raising children is stressful enough, without the additional stress that this "secretary" job will bring.

What do I do? What would you do? Did anyone else experience trouble returning to work from their leave?