My first post here

I've a 17 month old son and I am a first time mom. So every day is a new learning experience to me. I do have a blog where I write about random things (mostly about my son though; it always keeps coming back to him). But this is my first post here and first posts are always kind of difficult.

Being a mom is a lot harder than I thought it would be. To be frank though, I never gave it much thought. I just figured that one day I'd get married and have a kid or two because that's what people did, didn't they? :-)

And so I got married almost 5 years ago. We started trying about 2 years into our marriage and then we were told that I'd have some trouble conceiving (I have PCOS). And when they told me that I'd have trouble, that's when I started wanting a baby really bad. Actually becoming pregnant was the all important goal and I didn't spare much thought to the baby.

And then I became pregnant. I was ecstatic and elated, till I started reading about childbirth and freaked out. How was this 'thing' going to come out of me? Would it hurt a lot? How would I survive? And that became my obsession for the next few months.

And then my son was born. Here was an actual baby! What was I supposed to do with him? Turned out that childbirth was a breeze compared to the first few months of almost no sleep and constant worry. I was freaking out about every little thing and driving myself crazy. No one had ever told me that being a parent would require immense mental strength. I suddenly saw my own parents in a new light.

It's been an awesome journey so far. I completely adore my son (I call him Kuttipa since I don't like giving out his real name online). And while I don't freak out as much as before, I still do tend to worry a lot. I wonder if I'd worry a lot less when I have my second child. But that's still more of a pipe dream. For now I intend to enjoy my time as a first-time parent as much as I can..