My name is Jessica and I have lived in Calgary my entire life. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now and we have a beautiful eleven month old daughter named Devyn. Currently I stay at home with Devyn while my boyfriend works. We sleep, we play, we eat, we nap, we do laundry, we clean and on weekends we escape.
I hope to become a Doula and then in the future when Devyn is in school I plan on taking the four year course to become a midwife. Everything related to pregnancy, birth, breatsfeeding and babies appeals to me. I am constantly reading everything related to any of those topics in hopes of expanding my knowledge before I take the Doula course.
At the moment I am planning Devyn's first birthday party but aside from inviations I am so lost as to what I want to do. I have made the invites and sent them out, and as I didn't want any family members to feel excluded, I invited them all. That puts at least 50 guests on the main floor of my father's house. Thankfully he volunteered that location because our place is definitely not large enough to accommodate that many people. How do I entertain 50 people for 3 hours? Cake and presents, perhaps a bit of food, gifts and then a huge time gap until these people will get out.
One of the crappy things about being so young is I feel people pressure my boyfriend and I more into doing things we don't want to when it comes to our daughter. I wanted a small party. I wanted our siblings and parents there. That is it. I didn't want Devyn to get spoiled like this again:
Christmas was a gong show. Everyone gave her more than one gift. I broke down crying by dinner time Christmas day because I was overwhelmed with peoples kindness, love and generosity but also with the knowledge that, if this continues throughout her life, she will become a spoiled girl who expects it. But I was told that for Devyn's first birthday all her family has to be there. So I have invited siblings, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, great grandparents and the few friends that I really want there anyway. I put on the invitation that gifts are in no way expected or required but I have said the same thing about Christmas and the "Meet the baby" party we had when Devyn was born.
I am in no way ungrateful. Just overwhelmed. I suppose we will have to see how it all turns out. It may just be the best party we have ever had.
You know i can completely understand how you are feeling although our lives are nothing the same. I don't come from a close knit family and my children's birthday parties are me and all their friends. Hopefully as years pass your daughter will remember how much she was loved by all this family and not just all the gifts she receives!
ReplyDeleteI too have wanted to become a doula and then midwife, as I too am fascinated with pregnancy, childbirth, etc etc. However, there is no school here when I live to obtain education for that and moving is out of the question for me.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your girls birthday party, I am sure it will be a great time for all! Looking forward to reading more.
I can understand you are overwhelmed by your family but I think stepping back a seeing that you family love you and your daughter and that they want to give her the best is really the more important thing. My family gives big and well I can get carried away too sometimes. my kids are not spoiled. Yes they ask for neat things that they see but that is a kid for you. While my kids have a lot they are also happy to give to others. We go through toys every few months and those that they now longs use we give to others. Maybe if there is that much stuff you should just donate a bunch of it. Having things does not equal spoiling if my mind it is how you teach and raise them. Just let you daughter enjoy the love that your family is bringing along with the gifts! As for what to do. Maybe you could make a dvd of picture from your daughters first year and show them on the TV to everyone. It is always fun to see how much they have changed in their first year!
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