Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Anniversaries

So tomorrow is my third wedding anniversary. Yay, right?!

I am not sure. Now to clarify, this does not mean I have any doubts in my hubby or our marriage; I am very happy and look forward to many more years together. But in celebrating our wedding anniversary we are also celebrating 9.5 years together in all. We were a committed couple for 5.5 years when he proposed and 6.5 years when we stood in a beautiful gazebo in the Dominican Republic and, through what seemed very much like a "Shot-Gun" wedding, "Tied-the-Knot" forever!

So we've been together a long time and somehow the wedding anniversary doesn't seem so important. Sept 17 marks the day of our first date and for some reason that still feels like the day to celebrate...this year will make 10 years!!

Our 1st wedding anniversary seemed special. Our son Ryken was just 3 months old and my mom came to watch him so we could enjoy a romantic dinner and remember what it was like to just be the two of us. But it was the first time we had left our baby, ever, and I kinda just wanted to race home to see him. The second anniversary was last year and we just went out for dinner with our son. It was nice and that was that.

But for some reason this year I am feeling quite apathetic about it. If I celebrate it at all I feel like marking the occasion for a different reason....the conception of our beautiful boy! That's right, our precious little man was conceived most likely on our wedding night (or possibly a couple days before) and nine months later he arrived! We have been struggling for 11 months now to conceive our 2nd child and some physical obstacles have been recently discovered in my reproductive organs that cause me to question whether our son will be the only one conceived. All the more reason to celebrate that our wedding seemed to coincide with him coming to be here!

So I am not sure what we'll do tomorrow or what will happen, but I can't help but feel a little guilty that it doesn't seem more special to me. I mean aren't women the ones that get all bent out of shape about these things and the men are more lax about it? Is the romance dead? Or has my life as a mother just shaped my view of such things? I don't want to lose what made us want to be together in the first and get lost in parenting...I don't want that to define us, but I seem lost when it comes to changing that!

4 comments:

  1. I was married in a SURPRISE wedding 3 years ago in Las Vegas (I had no idea we were going to get married) but we've been together for 13 years. The anniversary of our first date is much more important and special to us than our wedding anniversary. We actually forgot last year and it still takes me a moment to remember how many years we've actually been married.

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  2. I know that feeling too. We "dated" for more than 6 years before moving in together. Then we lived together for around 4.5 years before getting married (basically eloping). We celebrate the day we got married, but I feel that we have been "married" for much longer than what it says on paper.

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  3. I totally agree with you Jennifer. We were together for about 6 years before we go married. I basically moved in with him shortly after meeting him and bought a house a few years later. Lived together in the house for a year then got married.I feel like I have been with him way longer than the five years (six this Summer). I feel our Anniversary is just another day really. We might go out for Super but nothing too extravagant!

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  4. Happy Anniversay! I'm sorry to hear about your trouble conceiving, i will be praying for you guys! (i'm scared when we start trying again this summer that it just won't happen forever, our son was a wonderful mistake...so who knows how long it takes us) Just try not to think so much into things, like what the day means and such and just enjoy!

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