I know you don't all read my blog lol

I've been reading Twilight for the past three days and ending it with the movie, I have to say I love both dearly.
I've become an obsessed really, I feel like I am 12 again with those feelings that any actor I like I will marry, pretty sad right? Whatever, I didn't really have much of a childhood, I grew up to fast, with having lawyers in my life from 14 to 18.. doesn't seem long does it? it was, it made me have to grow up, make sure every move I made was carefully planned, not even being able to go to high school and finish my degree of a high school diploma.
I think I have a right to act like a 12 year old child again, in some ways to be exact.

This book Twilight, made my imagination run wild, something I can honestly say that I really haven't done in a VERY long time, which is sad, esp when you have a young child...
I've never been one to have much emotion either, I cry, I get happy and that stuff, but in a loving way I never show it really.

This bringing up my sex life in my mind, after having Lilly, the sex life went down hill, I am sure most mothers experiance this, and it really suck's.
My day's are not long, I sleep in EVERY DAY until 9 am, so I really shouldn't be as tired as I am at night, Lilly is a VERY independant little girl, hardly needing me, other then to feed and change her, so she is a really easy baby.

So after thinking about my depressed sex life and reading this book.. weird combination right?
I have decided we need to bring some spice into it, which we will be doing from now on.. role playing possibly? hehe.

I'm really excited, I am really happy that Steve is really trying to get me excited about sex again, I am excited that I can discus things with him and what I want in the bedroom.. I never been open minded really about sex, I never thought of it in a way that it's a nessary thing...


How weird is it that one book, called Twilight that is towards young teen girls could make me think of stuff like this.. is it possible that maybe I am not as grown up as I thought I was or is it because I want to be younger again and think that any man I like will marry me?

I've wanted to get married since the day I saw Steve, it was almost three years ago now and yet I still don't even have an engagement ring from him, which makes me sad, it makes me feel like he doubts our relationship a bit, which could not even be the thing, he could just be content in how we live, common - law?

I've been pretty much just babbling here, but I hope you get the jist of what I am trying to say, it might just be some words.


Jessika