Walking a Mile in Someone Else's Shoes

This year for Lent I have given up criticizing others. While in past years I have made the more "traditional" Lenten sacrifices such as giving up coffee, chocolate, dessert, shopping and more tangible objects, this year I decided to change things up. Though the intention behind making a sacrifice for Lent is to help you remember the religious significance of this time of year, many times in past years I just found myself griping about not being able to have my morning coffee or craving the dessert that I "couldn't" eat rather than remembering WHY I was making that sacrifice.

I believe that, to some extent, it is human nature to criticize others and to look for and point out others' faults. I find that many times we, as women are more guilty of this than our spouses and members of the opposite gender. It is so easy to say "Look how much weight she has gained!" or "Wow, his new girlfriend sure isn't pretty." How many times have we honked (or perhaps extended a certain finger) at a rude driver who cuts in front of us or speeds around us? How often do we roll our eyes or make a snide comment to someone who cuts in line in front of us or snap at the waitress or sales clerk who makes a mistake or is less than courteous?

While many times we only criticize others to make ourselves feel better, often we have no idea what is going on in the life of the person who is the victim of our criticism. Perhaps our waitress is flustered because she just learned that her mother passed away but she needs the money so has agreed to stay and finish her shift. Perhaps the rude and hurried driver is on his way to the hospital where his wife is giving birth to their first child. Maybe the women whose weight we criticize actually spends an hour and a half per day at the gym and has actually lost a significant amount of weight or perhaps she has a medical condition which contributes to her obesity.

I have found that trying not to pass judgement or criticize is easier said than done as I am only human. However, it has served as a good reminder that many times we say or think things that are negative and detrimental about others and, in fact, it only reflects poorly on ourselves and our own self-confidence. We all deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt and to be treated with love and respect. These are the values that I hope to pass on to my children and I hope that, by conscientiously changing my own behavior and thought process, I will help them grow into open-minded, tolerant, loving, patient adults. As the saying goes, if you can't say (or think) anything nice, don't say anything at all! For the next several weeks that is exactly what I will be practicing and hopefully it leads to long-term changes in how I view, think about and approach my fellow human beings.